It's been awhile since my last post. I have been so busy lately that I didn't have any time. So here is what has been happening:
I have officially started my new job and I have been there now for nearly a month. I am really enjoying it there. The atmosphere is fun and relaxed to a degree and I'm surrounded by clothes all day and since I am a major shop-a-holic that makes me happy. The girls I work with are great. There is 4 of us all-together who work there, Amanda is the manager, Jenna has been working there on and off for years and then there is Amy who started a week or 2 before me. Unfortunatly they are unsaved, but I have made it known to them that I am a Christian and I am making sure that my actions reflect what I have made known. Amy has asked a few questions as well as Amanda. I'm hoping that Amy will want to come to church with me soon, she used to go to church alot but stopped for some reason, so I'm hoping she will be convicted to come along with me. I keep praying that God will open their hearts and give me the wisdom to know what to say if and when they ask questions. I'm a bit unsure if I will be able to answer anything but I know that with God on my side, he will help me!
I went on the youth group, IGNITE's, camp last weekend. I was in a dorm with Julieanne Higgins and we had 6 year 7 girls. I have to admit that I struggled alot with that age group of girls. We got along really well but I don't know how else to describe it bit we didn't click type thing. I seem to be able to click better with the older kids. I guess I can relate more to what they are going through and feel that I can help them better which sounds really bad but it's the only way I can think of describing it. I had quite a few good chats and d&m's with some of the older kids on camp and I think that I really was able to help them. One girl in particular seems to be going through something that I went through when I was around her age. I will be honest and say that I had a hard time liking this girl at first, but the more I speak to her, the more I do like her. She suprised me with some things and I realised that I did judge her before I got to know her which I am dissapointed in myself for. I guess it's a learning experience and I am thankful for that cos I am establishing relationships with these kids and it's been great! I know that this is where God wants me to be, I just need to keep praying about it. Overall it was a really great weekend and on the Sunday I was so excited to see how many kids opened up at the bonfire with verses they read, testimonies etc. I'm so excited about how strong these kids are in their relationship with God and how open and confident they are in their Faith! I just pray that they stick to it and don't wander down the wrong track later on.
God has been so amazing to me. He has given me a new job where I am more confortable to show my Faith, he has shown me that I belong as a leader at IGNITE and that my past is not something to be ashamed of. He has given me a wonderful new boyfriend who has been so amazing to me so far and I am so excited to see what God has planned in the future for us. He has also given me such amazing and fantastic friends who are there for me to help me and listen to me whenever I need them. God is so amazing and I love him with all my heart!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Out Of My Comfort Zone
Since my work situation is about to change it has made me think alot about what I am going to do in my spare time and what I would like to start doing. There was one thing that kept coming into my mind and it links in so well with what I want to aim for through ACM and the internship. I prayed alot about it and spoke to the people I needed to and it just seems to be something that I should do. I've decided to step out of my comfort zone and become a leader at IGNITE.
Why is it stepping out of my comfort zone? For a few reasons:
1. I'm going to be looked up to by younger girls.
2. I may be approached with questions that I may not have a clue how to answer.
3. I will, at some stage, have my own group to take care of and disciple (which is what I do want to do)
4. I will have more responsibility than I have ever had before and it involves other people as well not just myself so my actions will affect them.
They are my main four reasons, but when I think about being a leader at IGNITE I get really excited about it and I can't wait till the first week back! I know that I will be faced with challenges because there is so much for me to learn that God wants to teach me and I know that through him I can get through. I'm so excited about all these possibilities that have been placed before me and I want to do the best that I can to glorify God.
I will have started my new job this time next week, which is another scary thing. It's going to be a big change and a struggle at first with finances and such, but it will also give me alot more time to devote to God and getting to know him and also helping others. I'm planning on helping out in Special Ed with mum when I'm not at work untill my ACM classes start so I'm not just sitting at home being bored watching mind-numbing tv or browsing the internet. I'm hoping that when I'm helping at school I can start to develope relationships with girls that I will someday disciple!
Oh, something fantastic I found out at the leaders meeting last week; a girl that I had been praying would be saved got saved! I had been praying for a few weeks for Chaynel. I met her at the Shave for a Cure thing that was on and she is exactly like me when I was her age and I felt instantly drawn to her. When I found out that she wasn't a Christian yet I started praying that through her friends or something she would make that descision and she has now! I'm so excited for her and praise God that he worked in her life!
Why is it stepping out of my comfort zone? For a few reasons:
1. I'm going to be looked up to by younger girls.
2. I may be approached with questions that I may not have a clue how to answer.
3. I will, at some stage, have my own group to take care of and disciple (which is what I do want to do)
4. I will have more responsibility than I have ever had before and it involves other people as well not just myself so my actions will affect them.
They are my main four reasons, but when I think about being a leader at IGNITE I get really excited about it and I can't wait till the first week back! I know that I will be faced with challenges because there is so much for me to learn that God wants to teach me and I know that through him I can get through. I'm so excited about all these possibilities that have been placed before me and I want to do the best that I can to glorify God.
I will have started my new job this time next week, which is another scary thing. It's going to be a big change and a struggle at first with finances and such, but it will also give me alot more time to devote to God and getting to know him and also helping others. I'm planning on helping out in Special Ed with mum when I'm not at work untill my ACM classes start so I'm not just sitting at home being bored watching mind-numbing tv or browsing the internet. I'm hoping that when I'm helping at school I can start to develope relationships with girls that I will someday disciple!
Oh, something fantastic I found out at the leaders meeting last week; a girl that I had been praying would be saved got saved! I had been praying for a few weeks for Chaynel. I met her at the Shave for a Cure thing that was on and she is exactly like me when I was her age and I felt instantly drawn to her. When I found out that she wasn't a Christian yet I started praying that through her friends or something she would make that descision and she has now! I'm so excited for her and praise God that he worked in her life!
Friday, April 10, 2009
God's Time Not Ours
So this past week has been kinda stressful for me. Not because work has been super busy or anything but cos I have been waiting for some news. I applied for a job at Ice Design (a clothing store) and I had a job trial last weekend. The trial was fantastic and they were impressed and all, but I had to wait for the manager to talk to the regional manager first before any decision was made so they were going to let me know Tuesday. That was fine with me cos Tuesday wasn't too far away. Well Tuesday came and I hadn't heard anything and was getting a bit worried. Then the manager called my work and asked to speak to my manager Vicki. I was surprised and very nervous as I hadn't told work that I was looking elsewhere cos I wanted to wait till I had something first. Anyway I put Amanda (the manager) through to Vicki and I was shaking.
When Vicki got off the phone she came out to talk to me. She asked why I was looking for a new job and why I hadn't told her. She was annoyed that I hadn't told her and I realised that I really should have mentioned to her that I was looking but I didn't want to cos I thought things would get so bad at work after. Things happened a completely different way to how I hoped and wanted. I didn't hear from Amanda at all the rest of the day so I called her when I finished work and she said that she had to do reference checks and couldn't get in contact with my old supervisor at Big W so she would let me know tomorrow and if I could come in at some point to do paperwork if it all went well.
The next day I asked to leave at 4 that day and that I would work through my lunch. Vicki had a go at me about it and went to talk to one of my bosses Michael about it. Michael then called me into his office to have a chat. He asked the same questions Vicki had asked me and I told him. He said that they would be advertising now for a replacement. This freaked me out cos I didn't have the job yet and if they were looking and found someone before I had another job I may possibly not have a job at all. So I was freaking out and it wasn't until I spoke to Chloe that I realised that I shouldn't be freaking out. This all was a part of God's plan for me. Things were going to happen his way and in his time not in mine. I called Amanda around lunch time and she still hadn't gotten in contact with my old supervisor and that I didn't need to come in that afternoon. This worried me as I was starting to think that I wasn't going to get the job. I still left at 4 that day.
The next day, Thursday, two days after I was meant to know I still hadn't heard anything. Vicki was asking me when I would be leaving if I got the job and I estimated a time but inside I was thinking that I wouldn't get the job and I would be stuffed. On my way home from work I still hadn't heard anything so I sent to text to the people I knew wanted to know and were praying for me. I said that I still hadn't heard anything yet and that I don't know if I have to job or not. 5 minutes later I got a phone call. It was Amanda! This is how the conversation started:
"Hi Mallori, it's Amanda from Ice at Elizabeth. How are you?"
"Good Amanda. How are you?"
"Yeah good thanks. I'm just calling to welcome you to the team."
I got the job!! I was so excited but at the same time I couldn't believe it! All the stress during the week was a waste of time and energy!
I did learn a lot through this though. I learnt to trust God a lot more and that no matter how much we stress or worry things will work out how they are meant to and in God's time not ours. Also things may not go how we plan them to or want them to but in the end there is a reason for it and I know that God tested my trust in him through this! It has made me stronger in my relationship with God cos I know that he will come through for me in the end and that I can trust him with everything!
So now I have to go and sign the paperwork and write a resignation letter for work and then apply for ACM which I am the most excited about! It's going to be a massive adjustment but I know that God will provide and help me through it all. Thanks so much to everyone who prayed for me and was there for me. I really appreciate it!
God Bless xx
When Vicki got off the phone she came out to talk to me. She asked why I was looking for a new job and why I hadn't told her. She was annoyed that I hadn't told her and I realised that I really should have mentioned to her that I was looking but I didn't want to cos I thought things would get so bad at work after. Things happened a completely different way to how I hoped and wanted. I didn't hear from Amanda at all the rest of the day so I called her when I finished work and she said that she had to do reference checks and couldn't get in contact with my old supervisor at Big W so she would let me know tomorrow and if I could come in at some point to do paperwork if it all went well.
The next day I asked to leave at 4 that day and that I would work through my lunch. Vicki had a go at me about it and went to talk to one of my bosses Michael about it. Michael then called me into his office to have a chat. He asked the same questions Vicki had asked me and I told him. He said that they would be advertising now for a replacement. This freaked me out cos I didn't have the job yet and if they were looking and found someone before I had another job I may possibly not have a job at all. So I was freaking out and it wasn't until I spoke to Chloe that I realised that I shouldn't be freaking out. This all was a part of God's plan for me. Things were going to happen his way and in his time not in mine. I called Amanda around lunch time and she still hadn't gotten in contact with my old supervisor and that I didn't need to come in that afternoon. This worried me as I was starting to think that I wasn't going to get the job. I still left at 4 that day.
The next day, Thursday, two days after I was meant to know I still hadn't heard anything. Vicki was asking me when I would be leaving if I got the job and I estimated a time but inside I was thinking that I wouldn't get the job and I would be stuffed. On my way home from work I still hadn't heard anything so I sent to text to the people I knew wanted to know and were praying for me. I said that I still hadn't heard anything yet and that I don't know if I have to job or not. 5 minutes later I got a phone call. It was Amanda! This is how the conversation started:
"Hi Mallori, it's Amanda from Ice at Elizabeth. How are you?"
"Good Amanda. How are you?"
"Yeah good thanks. I'm just calling to welcome you to the team."
I got the job!! I was so excited but at the same time I couldn't believe it! All the stress during the week was a waste of time and energy!
I did learn a lot through this though. I learnt to trust God a lot more and that no matter how much we stress or worry things will work out how they are meant to and in God's time not ours. Also things may not go how we plan them to or want them to but in the end there is a reason for it and I know that God tested my trust in him through this! It has made me stronger in my relationship with God cos I know that he will come through for me in the end and that I can trust him with everything!
So now I have to go and sign the paperwork and write a resignation letter for work and then apply for ACM which I am the most excited about! It's going to be a massive adjustment but I know that God will provide and help me through it all. Thanks so much to everyone who prayed for me and was there for me. I really appreciate it!
God Bless xx
Monday, April 6, 2009
My Weekend
Hi All,
The past weekend was a pretty full on and busy one, but it was fantastic! It feels like life is starting to make sense to me and starting to go down the road that I feel God wants me to be on.
Friday night mum and I went out to see Confessions of a Shop-A-holic. We both can relate to this movie cos we both spend way too much money on clothes and shoes just like the character does. It was a great movie and we both loved it (and funnily enough Lisa was sitting a few rows behind us and I was texting her and didn't know untill I asked what she was doing and she said she was at the movies seeing the same movie). It was great to spend time with mum and talk about things.
Saturday I slept in a little bit, but I had a doctor appointment at 10:30 so I had to be up for that. Nothing was wrong I just had to get my blood test results and I found out that everything is all good thankfully. I was worried about my CK levels cos last time it was over 2,000 when it is meant to be no higher than 161, but it was fine! After that mum and I went to the Goodwill cos mum said they had brand new belts for like $5 and I wanted one for my trial later on for my outfit. I found three!
At 2pm I had a job trial at ICE Design, a clothing store at Elizabeth. I was super nervous about it, but mum and I prayed before I left and I also prayed before I got out of my car and I just asked God to help me to do my best and that if he wanted me to work there then it would happen. I felt peace after that and went in and was myself and did the best job that I could. I was there about an hour and I helped the customers and even made a sale! When I finished the manager said that she was very impressed with me and how I did. She didn't expect me to be so confident or to make a sale! She said that she had to talk to the regional manager and that she would let me know on Tuesday if I get the job or not. I'm so nervous about it cos if I get the job then I'm going to have to talk to my current boss and let him know that I'm quitting and that will be so hard to do. He is a really nice boss and I have no idea how I would tell him if I do get the job, so I am a but worried and nervous about that part. There are alot of things that I have to think about too if I get this job. The main reason I want a new job that is part time is so that I can go to ACM. I'm going to have less money each week which will be a massive thing as I have so many bills, but I seriously feel that this is the path God wants me on and I know that he will provide for me in everything.
That night we went to Sharon Bigwood's surprise party. We met at Maccas for dinner first with some other people and the Bigwood's then we played the whole last minute invite back for coffee and when we got back to their house there were some other families waiting there and then we surprised her. She had no idea and it was great! Then after that I went and spent some time at Liz's and that was great cos we had a great talk and we took a step forward in our friendship!
Sunday wasn't quite as busy as Saturday. I went to church and it was a good service. The item at the end was fantastic! After church I went out for lunch with my cousin and tried to get her to come to the Easter concert but she said she had too much TAFE work she had to do which was sad. I really want my cousin to be saved! After lunch I went home for a little relaxing time before the sound-check for the Easter concert where Erin and I were doing a duet. I was nervous about it cos it was the first item I had done in about 2 years. The sound-check went well with few dramas which was good. Erin and I quickly dashed to my house to finishe getting ready and dashed back to church. The Easter concert was such a great night. Mine and Erin's item went really well apart from the start when our words didn't come up on the screen and Erin started singing the wrong words so we stopped and it was fixed up and we started again. That really calmed me down for some reason. It was kinda embarassing but I was kinda glad that it happened cos I was so nervous standing there and then when this happened I was able to laugh it off and relax a little bit. So a thing that most people would see as a negative I think it turned out to be a positive. I am so proud of Erin too. She was nervous but she was amazing too! I am so glad that I asked her to do the item with me.
Overall my weekend was really good. One of the best I would have to say. Now to wait till tomorrow to find out about the job. I'm praying for God's will to be done with this. I really do want it and I think that I will be upset if I don't get it but ultimately it's a part of His plan and I will accept whatever the outcome will be.
God bless xx
The past weekend was a pretty full on and busy one, but it was fantastic! It feels like life is starting to make sense to me and starting to go down the road that I feel God wants me to be on.
Friday night mum and I went out to see Confessions of a Shop-A-holic. We both can relate to this movie cos we both spend way too much money on clothes and shoes just like the character does. It was a great movie and we both loved it (and funnily enough Lisa was sitting a few rows behind us and I was texting her and didn't know untill I asked what she was doing and she said she was at the movies seeing the same movie). It was great to spend time with mum and talk about things.
Saturday I slept in a little bit, but I had a doctor appointment at 10:30 so I had to be up for that. Nothing was wrong I just had to get my blood test results and I found out that everything is all good thankfully. I was worried about my CK levels cos last time it was over 2,000 when it is meant to be no higher than 161, but it was fine! After that mum and I went to the Goodwill cos mum said they had brand new belts for like $5 and I wanted one for my trial later on for my outfit. I found three!
At 2pm I had a job trial at ICE Design, a clothing store at Elizabeth. I was super nervous about it, but mum and I prayed before I left and I also prayed before I got out of my car and I just asked God to help me to do my best and that if he wanted me to work there then it would happen. I felt peace after that and went in and was myself and did the best job that I could. I was there about an hour and I helped the customers and even made a sale! When I finished the manager said that she was very impressed with me and how I did. She didn't expect me to be so confident or to make a sale! She said that she had to talk to the regional manager and that she would let me know on Tuesday if I get the job or not. I'm so nervous about it cos if I get the job then I'm going to have to talk to my current boss and let him know that I'm quitting and that will be so hard to do. He is a really nice boss and I have no idea how I would tell him if I do get the job, so I am a but worried and nervous about that part. There are alot of things that I have to think about too if I get this job. The main reason I want a new job that is part time is so that I can go to ACM. I'm going to have less money each week which will be a massive thing as I have so many bills, but I seriously feel that this is the path God wants me on and I know that he will provide for me in everything.
That night we went to Sharon Bigwood's surprise party. We met at Maccas for dinner first with some other people and the Bigwood's then we played the whole last minute invite back for coffee and when we got back to their house there were some other families waiting there and then we surprised her. She had no idea and it was great! Then after that I went and spent some time at Liz's and that was great cos we had a great talk and we took a step forward in our friendship!
Sunday wasn't quite as busy as Saturday. I went to church and it was a good service. The item at the end was fantastic! After church I went out for lunch with my cousin and tried to get her to come to the Easter concert but she said she had too much TAFE work she had to do which was sad. I really want my cousin to be saved! After lunch I went home for a little relaxing time before the sound-check for the Easter concert where Erin and I were doing a duet. I was nervous about it cos it was the first item I had done in about 2 years. The sound-check went well with few dramas which was good. Erin and I quickly dashed to my house to finishe getting ready and dashed back to church. The Easter concert was such a great night. Mine and Erin's item went really well apart from the start when our words didn't come up on the screen and Erin started singing the wrong words so we stopped and it was fixed up and we started again. That really calmed me down for some reason. It was kinda embarassing but I was kinda glad that it happened cos I was so nervous standing there and then when this happened I was able to laugh it off and relax a little bit. So a thing that most people would see as a negative I think it turned out to be a positive. I am so proud of Erin too. She was nervous but she was amazing too! I am so glad that I asked her to do the item with me.
Overall my weekend was really good. One of the best I would have to say. Now to wait till tomorrow to find out about the job. I'm praying for God's will to be done with this. I really do want it and I think that I will be upset if I don't get it but ultimately it's a part of His plan and I will accept whatever the outcome will be.
God bless xx
Thursday, April 2, 2009
One Step Forward...Two Steps Back?
So I've had this blog for a day now and I'm already on my 3rd post. It's nice to have somewhere I can get all my thoughts and feelings out!
I've started to notice a recurring thing that happens. The days at work that are a struggle for me and leave me exhausted and frustrated always seem to be the days after I have had a night of growth with God. For example, Tuesday night was great at music team practice, I felt a real closeness to God and then Wednesday at work I was struggling to stay happy and not to give into the temptation of having a go at someone at work. Then last night at Recharge I again felt very close to God and I was so happy, but so far today it has been another struggle. I am feeling like I am reaching the end of my newly found patience. It seems that today people think it's "let's talk rudely and be horrible day" or something. I don't like being treated like I don't mean anything and that I am worthless and that is how I am being treated at work. I struggle to remain happy, but I do manage with the help and strength fron God, but it tires me out and I am exhausted by the end of the day. I have no idea how I can make things better at work as I haven't done anything to the people at work that would make them want to treat me how they are.
I know that not all situations make sense to us at the time that they happen. That's how God works, and I know that I have to trust him that there is a reason that he is putting me through this trial, it's just this has been going on since January and I'm starting to wonder how much longer I have to go till I reach the end. The Bible does say to rejoice in trials as they are from God, it's hard and I've been trying, but it really upsets me how they speak to me and treat me. No-one should be treated this way and I would not wish it upon anyone! It's starting to feel like I'm taking one step forward and two steps back with this. I take a step forward with my relationship with God and it feels like things will be okay and work out, then I go to work and it gets worse and feels like I've taken two steps back.
I have to end this for now as I am about to go to lunch. I need prayer about this situation and the ability to get through it. Also for a new job. I have applied for alot of retail jobs part-time but I haven't heard anything back yet. I guess prayer that God's will will be done and if it's in his plan that I get a new job and do some study that it will happen and that I will have peace and patience waiting.
God Bless xx
I've started to notice a recurring thing that happens. The days at work that are a struggle for me and leave me exhausted and frustrated always seem to be the days after I have had a night of growth with God. For example, Tuesday night was great at music team practice, I felt a real closeness to God and then Wednesday at work I was struggling to stay happy and not to give into the temptation of having a go at someone at work. Then last night at Recharge I again felt very close to God and I was so happy, but so far today it has been another struggle. I am feeling like I am reaching the end of my newly found patience. It seems that today people think it's "let's talk rudely and be horrible day" or something. I don't like being treated like I don't mean anything and that I am worthless and that is how I am being treated at work. I struggle to remain happy, but I do manage with the help and strength fron God, but it tires me out and I am exhausted by the end of the day. I have no idea how I can make things better at work as I haven't done anything to the people at work that would make them want to treat me how they are.
I know that not all situations make sense to us at the time that they happen. That's how God works, and I know that I have to trust him that there is a reason that he is putting me through this trial, it's just this has been going on since January and I'm starting to wonder how much longer I have to go till I reach the end. The Bible does say to rejoice in trials as they are from God, it's hard and I've been trying, but it really upsets me how they speak to me and treat me. No-one should be treated this way and I would not wish it upon anyone! It's starting to feel like I'm taking one step forward and two steps back with this. I take a step forward with my relationship with God and it feels like things will be okay and work out, then I go to work and it gets worse and feels like I've taken two steps back.
I have to end this for now as I am about to go to lunch. I need prayer about this situation and the ability to get through it. Also for a new job. I have applied for alot of retail jobs part-time but I haven't heard anything back yet. I guess prayer that God's will will be done and if it's in his plan that I get a new job and do some study that it will happen and that I will have peace and patience waiting.
God Bless xx
My Testimony
I just thought that I would post my testimony for anyone who is interested. Let me know your thoughts and feelings on it! :D
Hi, most of you already know me but for those who don’t I’m Mallori Michell. I was brought up in a Christian home with both my parents being Christian and even my grandparents being missionaries with their own church. I went to church and Sunday school every Sunday and I even went to a Christian school, being Craigmore Christian School. We started coming to Craigmore church after my grandparents, whose church we attended before that, moved to Perth. I don’t remember when I gave my heart to the Lord when I was younger; I remember just saying the prayer every time it was brought up in church or Sunday school just to make sure. I don’t remember if I ever knew back then what it really meant; it was just something I knew I had to do.
I’ve had a lot of ups and downs through-out my life. Some family related, some friends related, but it was when I started wrestling that things started to go downhill in regards to my walk with God. I had watched wrestling on TV for a few years and had started going to live shows that were put on. I thought it was so awesome but never thought that I would be able to do something like that until I started talking to some of the wrestlers. One of them asked me if I was interested in wrestling myself as they needed female wrestlers. I told him that it was always something I had thought about and so he invited me to their next show to check them out and the following Monday I was at training. I knew then that this was what I wanted to do and nothing would stop me. Mum had her doubts at first but me, being the stubborn person that I am still wanted to do it. So I started training to be a wrestler. The people that I was constantly around were not Christians and I found myself falling into things that they did. I went to after-parties after the shows and went out with them every weekend basically and joined in with things they did there that I never thought I would do, but I did anyway. I became someone completely different. I stopped going to church and every time mum mentioned church or asked me to go I would have a reason as to why I couldn’t that week. I did go a few times every now and again but I never really wanted to be there. I guess the guilt I felt made me think that I didn’t belong.
Then, during a match I had in Melbourne, I was injured. I damaged tissue and ligaments in my shoulder from a move I took. I was told that if I wrestled and landed wrong again that I could damage my shoulder to the extent that I may need surgery. I had two options at that point, the first being that I could continue wrestling and risk getting injured again and possibly have to have surgery or I could quit wresting all-together. At this point wrestling was my whole life so I decided to wait and see how it felt when it started healing. However, the thing with tissue and ligament damage is that it never really goes away. To this day my shoulder still hurts sometimes. During the time that I was injured a lot of the people that I wrestled with started to think that I was faking my injury and started to be really horrible to me and talk about me a lot behind my back. They started a lot of horrible and untrue rumors with the sole purpose to hurt and embarrass me. I started to feel very alone and depressed. Also around that time there was a Christmas in July dinner that mum was trying to talk me into going. I honestly didn’t want to go, but at this point I had pretty much hit rock bottom, saw how much it would mean to mum that I go and thought well why not I don’t have anything else on that night and I can leave halfway through if I’m miserable.
When I first got to the dinner I didn’t talk to anyone. I hoped that no-one would even notice I was there so then there wouldn’t be questions asked that I really didn’t want to answer. However, Chloe came over to talk to me and to be honest she was the main person I was trying to avoid that night. From what I can remember I don’t think she asked me any of the questions that I wanted to avoid, she just asked how I was and about my injury. Then she made a comment that took me by surprise and has been stuck in my mind since that night. She looked right at me and said that I had lost the sparkle in my eyes. I had no idea what she was on about. I thought to myself what sparkle is she talking about and I asked her that. She just said she could see that I had lost the sparkle in my eyes that used to be there. That hit home and I realized what kind of person I had become. The sparkle in my eyes was from the Holy Spirit being in me and I had turned my back on God for nearly two years so it wasn’t there anymore. That night I made the decision to start going back to church again.
Now you may think that from then on things were all great. Well it did start to get better but there were also many battles that I had to fight. I knew that I had to quit wrestling all-together, but it had become such a part of me that in my mind it felt like I was giving up a part of me, and I was but it was a part of me that I could live without now that God was back in my life. I managed to quit but I went back to wrestling a few months later with another group of people. I was a referee for a few shows and tried not to let it rule my life like it did before, but it was more the people that I was around that was the problem not the sport so much itself. I started to slide back again and fall back into old habits. I met a guy who was being trained by my old trainer who was one of the people who spread rumors about me. I should have known at the time and recognized the warning signs that God put in front of me, but I didn’t. Thankfully it didn’t last very long but it made me realize how easy it is to fall when we start thinking we can handle things in our own strength and that we don’t need God for everything. At that point I re-dedicated my life to God and promised myself to give this a shot and try to ask God for help when I needed it instead of getting upset and worried about how I would handle it. God sure tested me on that promise through people at work. They started to treat me unfairly and it was getting to me a lot and I would come home crying almost every night. I hadn’t done anything to these people that would make them want to treat me how they were treating me but they were. That’s when I started to pray whenever things were said that upset me or made me angry. I knew that the easy option would be to have a go back and treat them how they were treating me or even just walking out and quitting, but the more I prayed about it the more peace I felt. I stopped worrying about the situation and just handed it over to God and told myself that he is in control, there is a reason to why he is giving me this trial.
A verse that I was told really helped me through that time especially. 1 Peter 5 : 6 – 11 “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for some-one to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings; And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power forever and ever. Amen.” It’s a long one but it’s one that has helped me so much. Knowing that I can cast all my worries on him because He loves and cares for me is amazing and knowing that I’m not the only person who is going through things like this is a comfort. I know that for me I feel like no-one can understand what I’m going through but I know now that it is just Satan trying to get me down. It has become a lot easier for me to trust God and I know that I can give things over to him so that I don’t need to worry anymore and have complete confidence that he will take care of everything, but I still have a long way to go. I’m so thankful for the people God has put in my life who have and are helping me through everything and for not giving up on me and I’m especially thankful that God never gave up on me even when I turned my back on him. I can only hope that now when people look at me they can see that sparkle in my eyes again which I know only comes from the Holy Spirit.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
My First Blog
Hi,
So I just signed up for this as I thought that it would be a cool way to get all my thoughts and feelings out and maybe try to make sense of the things that happen through day-to-day life.
This year so far has been an incredible journey for me and it's only April! My relationship with my friends have become a lot stronger and I have made some new friends too who I am getting really close to and I am so thankful that God has put these people in my life. Also my relationship with my mum has become a lot stronger. Mum and I have had moments where we are close and moments where we aren't. That would mainly be because of me, but that has changed a lot in the last few months and we are now closer than ever! We are even going out to the movies Friday night!
Another relationship that has become a lot stronger is my relationship with God. A few people know my testimony but I have been through a lot the last few years and I was away from God for about 2 years. It took a lot but I am now back and wanting a very close relationship with God. He never gave up on me and I can't even to explain how thankful I am to him that he is such a forgiving God who never gives up no matter where we are or what we do.
I've had a lot of trials since re-committing my life to Christ. The main trial has been at work and I have learnt that I need to trust God no matter how bad things get because there is a reason why he has put this trial in my life. So many times I have wanted to yell and have a go at people at work and it even got to the point where I almost walked out and quit. I prayed and asked God to give me the patience and the strength to get through this and he did.
A friend of mine read this verse to me the other week and it is so relevant to my situation and has helped me so much:
So I just signed up for this as I thought that it would be a cool way to get all my thoughts and feelings out and maybe try to make sense of the things that happen through day-to-day life.
This year so far has been an incredible journey for me and it's only April! My relationship with my friends have become a lot stronger and I have made some new friends too who I am getting really close to and I am so thankful that God has put these people in my life. Also my relationship with my mum has become a lot stronger. Mum and I have had moments where we are close and moments where we aren't. That would mainly be because of me, but that has changed a lot in the last few months and we are now closer than ever! We are even going out to the movies Friday night!
Another relationship that has become a lot stronger is my relationship with God. A few people know my testimony but I have been through a lot the last few years and I was away from God for about 2 years. It took a lot but I am now back and wanting a very close relationship with God. He never gave up on me and I can't even to explain how thankful I am to him that he is such a forgiving God who never gives up no matter where we are or what we do.
I've had a lot of trials since re-committing my life to Christ. The main trial has been at work and I have learnt that I need to trust God no matter how bad things get because there is a reason why he has put this trial in my life. So many times I have wanted to yell and have a go at people at work and it even got to the point where I almost walked out and quit. I prayed and asked God to give me the patience and the strength to get through this and he did.
A friend of mine read this verse to me the other week and it is so relevant to my situation and has helped me so much:
1 Peter 5 : 6 - 10
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."
When I first read this verse I couldn't believe how much it related to what I was going through. It was a real wake up call as to how I should handle things and it gave me hope that God will get me through this and that I'm not the only person who is going through such trials.
God puts trials in out lives sometimes to test us to see if we will go to him for help. We can't get through the trials alone. We need God's help with it. When things seem impossible and that we will never overcome them, that's because we are trying through our own strength and not through God.
Philippians 4 : 13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
We can get through the trials in life as long as we go to Christ to help us! He wants to help us, all we have to do is let him!
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