One Step Forward...Two Steps Back?

So I've had this blog for a day now and I'm already on my 3rd post. It's nice to have somewhere I can get all my thoughts and feelings out!

I've started to notice a recurring thing that happens. The days at work that are a struggle for me and leave me exhausted and frustrated always seem to be the days after I have had a night of growth with God. For example, Tuesday night was great at music team practice, I felt a real closeness to God and then Wednesday at work I was struggling to stay happy and not to give into the temptation of having a go at someone at work. Then last night at Recharge I again felt very close to God and I was so happy, but so far today it has been another struggle. I am feeling like I am reaching the end of my newly found patience. It seems that today people think it's "let's talk rudely and be horrible day" or something. I don't like being treated like I don't mean anything and that I am worthless and that is how I am being treated at work. I struggle to remain happy, but I do manage with the help and strength fron God, but it tires me out and I am exhausted by the end of the day. I have no idea how I can make things better at work as I haven't done anything to the people at work that would make them want to treat me how they are.

I know that not all situations make sense to us at the time that they happen. That's how God works, and I know that I have to trust him that there is a reason that he is putting me through this trial, it's just this has been going on since January and I'm starting to wonder how much longer I have to go till I reach the end. The Bible does say to rejoice in trials as they are from God, it's hard and I've been trying, but it really upsets me how they speak to me and treat me. No-one should be treated this way and I would not wish it upon anyone! It's starting to feel like I'm taking one step forward and two steps back with this. I take a step forward with my relationship with God and it feels like things will be okay and work out, then I go to work and it gets worse and feels like I've taken two steps back.

I have to end this for now as I am about to go to lunch. I need prayer about this situation and the ability to get through it. Also for a new job. I have applied for alot of retail jobs part-time but I haven't heard anything back yet. I guess prayer that God's will will be done and if it's in his plan that I get a new job and do some study that it will happen and that I will have peace and patience waiting.

God Bless xx